I've Moved

Hello! I've moved over to Wordpress. My new blog can be found at:

www.dearsophiapenelope.wordpress.com

Thank you for reading :)

Stop, Drop and Blog {On Extended Breastfeeding}

I get a lot of questions about why I do the things I do. Many are curious about my (our) parenting decisions, from home birthing, to placenta encapsulation, from not vaccinating, to homeschooling, from baby-led weaning, to cloth diapering, from co-sleeping, to sleep training, and then there are those questions about breastfeeding.

I really could write many entries about why I love breastfeeding; but, this specific writeup is dedicated to why I loved breastfeeding to begin with as well as my love for breastfeeding a toddler! Sophia is now 27 months old, and we are still going strong with breastfeeding. I get a lot of interesting looks and comments. I take it as (innocent) ignorance for the most part. As a culture, we aren't used to out-in-the-open, uncovered, public breastfeeding. So, I suppose it's worth it to examine how our society has made us feel uneasy about breastfeeding, and why a mom would choose to continue breastfeeding past the baby's first birthday. Here are some of my favourite inquiries:

When are you going to stop breastfeeding?

Probably after Sophia graduates from University. Next question.

No, really, when are you going to stop?

When she decides she no longer needs it, and weans herself off.

          Did you always know you wanted to breastfeed? 

I didn't always know I wanted to have a newborn attached to my boob like it's my full time job, no. I didn't even give it much thought. Until I became pregnant. I read Ina May Gaskin's "Guide To Breastfeeding" and fell in love with the idea of breastfeeding my child. The more research I did when I was pregnant with Sophia, I felt more and more compelled to have Gurshawn raise his arms in a triumphant salute to bid farewell to my bosoms, and hand them over to his offspring to use them as a sole source of nourishment. 

It took about three months to get used to breastfeeding. I remember when my milk came in the day after Sophia was born. Cow with large udders is what comes to my mind when I think of this time. I remember putting cabbage leaves to aid with my ridiculous engorgement. And the latching. Oy, the latching! Big nipple, teeny tiny mouth. It hurt...like toe-curling pain. I wished Gurshawn had sucked, well tugged and pulled, on my nipples a wee bit more pre-birthing to get them used to the feeling. Ha. And my nips were raw and looked like they'd been mangled by a dog. And, well, after those three months, my nips desensitized and everything flowed wonderfully!

What made you interested in breastfeeding?

Simply put, I wanted to breastfeed because I learned (and sensed) that it provides perfect infant nutrition. Oh, and the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends continuing breastfeeding for at least the first 12 months, and thereafter for as long as mutually desired. Not that I place much trust in their "knowledge," since they also recommend an average of 36 vaccinations within the first 18 months of life, and that's something we didn't do, but that's another blog! Other reasons that compelled my breastfeeding endeavour include:

• To help pass meconium (baby's first sticky poo)
• Bonding purposes
• Convenience factor (gotta love whipping out the boob to immediately soothe)
• Antibodies, immunity support
• Did I mention antibodies?
• Easily digestible
• Helps to shrink uterus after birth (hey, breastfeeding a newborn burns more calories than a zumba class!)
• Lowers the risk of mom developing cancer
• Lowers child's risk of developing allergies, intestinal disorders, asthma
• It's a natural contraceptive (Holds true only if you are exclusively breastfeeding, and have not yet gotten your period back following childbirth. But folks, I would still wrap it up just in case!)
• Breastmilk is free
• Oxytocin flow (that love hormone!)
• For those statistics lovers, breastfed babies need fewer doctor visits! And this is true! Sophia has only been to the doctor for her checkups and weigh ins. No ear infections, tummy troubles, respiratory infections. Perhaps we are lucky, or she's just super healthy because we allow her immunity to build on it's own
• I'm pretty sure I learned in school that Jesus was breastfed

* Okay, with all of the above (and more) that breastfed babies are said to inherit, I will make the following point: You always get the experience that you need for the evolution of your consciousness and your overall growth and expansion. So, I can breastfeed Sophia until the cows go home, and if she needs to have the experience of developing allergies, or I need to have the experience of developing cancer, this is how our life will unfold - simply because that experience will allow us to evolve consciously, grow and expand moreso than maybe not developing allergies, or cancer, will provide.

Why are you for extended-breastfeeding?

I suppose I'll tackle this one by furthering why I chose breastfeeding to begin with. I generally belong in the "Breast is Best" (for Sophia!) camp. In my meditations during pregnancy, and when Sophia was first born, I connected with her as much as I could energetically, and I sensed that breastfeeding would be of utmost value to her. I am very blessed to be able to breastfeed; because, I know many mommies can't. Also, when I say I'm for breastfeeding, it doesn't mean I'm anti-formula, it just means I'm for breastfeeding Sophia. I could have another experience with another child, that I may not be able to breastfeed, and/or have latch correctly, and/or produce enough milk for; but, my experience with Sophia is so for a reason, and I love how it's playing out. 

So, why am I for extended-breastfeeding? The nutrients are lovely. I don't believe there is any other better form of milk for a little being than breastmilk. I haven't drank a glass of cow's milk in over 22 years, and I'm not about to give my child cow's milk. Any form of animal milk, from my research, is designed only for the offspring of that particular animal. The human body does not do well with any form of animal milk, whatsoever. I believe animal milk only greatly compromises the human physicality, and can be taxing on our immune system.

Also, the energetical connection (is energetical a word? #philosopherslovetomakeupwords) through breastfeeding that I feel with Sophia is one that is far from over. Please note, this is not to say that a mom who is not able to, or does not breastfeed, cannot have an energetical connection with their child. It just enhances the connection I have with Sophia. It has always been the case that during breastfeeding, I feel the most calm, unless I have strange curious eyes watching me ;) She tells me to relax and be at ease for all is well and all that needs to unfold at the perfect measure and at the perfect time will unfold without any efforts required.

I also loved breastfeeding in the beginning because I wouldn't have to give her any probiotics. From my research and tapping into her during meditation, I sensed that all that she needed nutritionally was in the milk, and the thought of letting her build her own natural immune system and intestinal flora excited me. Now, perhaps the building antibodies period has passed by now for Sophia. However, I'm sure my breast milk will support her body and brain to develop.

On Dad's feelings of breastfeeding...

       Dad’s feelings about breastfeeding matter a great deal. A father who is positive about breastfeeding can help support mom and make breastfeeding work out very well. For those soon to be dads or new dads reading, please let mom know how attractive she looks while breastfeeding, and that her beauty is enhanced by the act (don't start moo-ing during nursing sessions). 

What would you say to a mom who is unsure of whether she wants to breastfeed or continue to breastfeed?

Check in with yourself. Give your intuition some credit. You know what's best for you and babe/tot/preschooler :) Whatever you choose whether it be breastfeeding or beyond, do it with ease and love for yourself and your child.

My absolute favourite thing that Sophia says right now when she wants to breastfeed: "I miss boobs soooo much."

Thank you for reading. Much love to you. :)

A Blog About Blogs

"A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, 

but you don't have a top for it." Jerry Seinfeld

Top of the morning to you, laddies. I hope you are enjoying your summer so far, and keeping cool with rainbow popsicles, dips in a lake, and/or recollections of what -42 (with the windchill) Toronto January days felt like.

So, the last time I blogged was at the end of May! Time has won again. What a wicked creature. I wish I had more time to write, really I do. When I do find a short half hour to therapeutically release my thoughts to you, my muse is gone, and I'd rather lay like broccoli on the couch while Sophia naps or take an ice-bucket-challenge of a shower to cool off from the sweltering heat. 

Here are some entries I'd love to write about, and will once I magically get a moment to myself: my journey in extended breastfeeding; why the two year old molars are the bain of my existence; why we have chosen to extend rear-facing in the car seat at least until Sophia is four years old; our getaway to Dominican Republic for Sophia's second birthday; my excitements and fears about homeschooling; how pushy parents drive kids to drink; my love-hate relationship with the Waldorf program; and, details about how my little baby has transformed into an uncivilized cave-toddler. 

Yeah, that's like seventeen entries I plan to scribe...and at this rate I'll be done when Sophia turns 18. 

There are so many things you could be doing right now, and so much more entertaining material to be read, but I appreciate you taking the time to read my random thoughts to dear Sophia Penelope. This blog has just over 6,200 page views! Looking at the stats and locations of readers, I couldn't believe it. Shout outs to my readers both near and far, those in Ireland, Curacao, Costa Rica, Germany, South Korea, and Columbia. Thank you for your support!

Stay cool, my loves. 

Confessions of a Hippie Mom

A blog entry a mere few days after my latest? I'm on a roll! I read this quote, and it summoned up my muse to write. God, I love how books can do that.

"The parenting journey holds the potential to be a spiritually regenerative experience for both parent and child, where every moment is a meeting of spirits, and both parent and child appreciate that each dances on a spiritual path that's unique, holding hands, and yet alone." 

and

"While we believe we hold the power to raise our children, the reality is that our children hold the power to raise us into the parents they need us to become." Dr. Shefali Tsabary (The Conscious Parent, 2010)

I wonder how often we, as both (potentially) creators and the created, regard ourselves as engaged in a spiritual experience with our parents and our children? Every meeting is an opportunity to move beyond ego and learn from the other. I know that in the past, often interactions with my own mother and my in-laws called forth my ego (fears, anxieties, lower vibrational emotions such as anger), and it wasn't until I saw each meeting as a call and challenge to rise beyond my ego, and to become more neutral and at peace, that things started to shift for me. My mother is my teacher and guide, as every soul in my life is. And I'm sure that I challenge(d) my mom, and other family members who don't agree with my parenting choices. But, at the soul level I am sure I am encouraging my mom to let go of her utopian visions and ideals that she has for me.

I hope I always remember this when guiding Sophia through life. That our relationship is to be one without condition and expectation. With dear Sophia in mind, as much as it is fun to wear similar outfits and cut our bangs in similar fashion, she is not a mini-me (or a mini-Gurshawn, for that matter), and wouldn't you think it degrading to refer to her as that?? I couldn't even tell you how many used to say she looked like Gurshawn, and now she is changing and looking more like me! My ego would of course be content by this, but I know deep down that she looks like HERSELF! She is here creating and living out her own vibration and frequency, her own unique signature in the world, in appearance and with spirit.

On that note, I feel it is my vocation to keep encouraging the genius in her, without having the abrasive world harsh her spirit. It really isn't about the glorification of our children moving up in society, academically, professionally, socially...And, this is why I am so for homeschooling. Not because I think I know it all (because I truly know nothing), but because I am willing to be a learner alongside Sophia. I am attempting to engage Sophia in a relationship that encourages her to be who she is, without me imprinting my ideals on her, or without anyone imprinting their ideals on her or pressuring her to live up to a standard and in a box that society deems fit (whether it be in Daycare, Elementary and Secondary School, Post-Secondary, with Career, Family, Religion, Traditions, Culture, Gender Role...etc). Yup, just call me the hippie, non-conformist mom. (I'm sure you do already). And, you may bring up a couple arguments. First, that I have no life of my own because I am dedicating myself entirely to schooling Sophia. Duh. Isn't that what a vocation is? I'm believe I'm being called to motherhood and guiding Sophia. I'm sure the time will come when she doesn't need me anymore, and I'm utterly OKAY with that when that time comes. Maybe I'll take up martial arts or knitting, or create my own meditation school for youth, who knows. But right now, she needs me, and I am loving every moment with her, learning and growing together. Second the argument of socialization may come to your mind when you suggest that a home-schooled child lacks socialization skills. I'm still gathering all my points to address this one in an entry, from a place of peace and ease and not from a place of feeling attacked and judged ;)

Anyways, with all of this in mind, I have to share a funny story. A few years ago, upon my return to Canada with Gurshawn from Korea, I visited my mom at her home, God bless her heart. I saw, tucked away in some paperwork on her kitchen counter, a timeline she had created for me of my life. She marked the year I was born, when I graduated High School, when I graduated University, when I went off to Korea. And then she had it marked down the year I would get married, the year I would start a family, get a permanent job, etc. It took me aback because at that point, Gurshawn and I weren't even engaged yet! And you can imagine my surprise when she marked down the fact that we would have a family, since we were planning to be a childless married couple! I didn't bring the fact that I saw her detailed timeline up to her, because that would have evoked an entirely awkward conversation I was not ready to have. But I mention this now, as just a little example of how we have ideals and visions for our children to live up to. And, I don't hold this against my mom, because she has always wanted the best for me, and for her, creating this timeline for me reassured her that I was on the "right" path.

So these quotations above deeply resonate with me, as this is how I want Sophia to be seen: as my guide and precious teacher, molding me into the guide that she herself needs, to go out into the world not as a passive consumer, but as an active co-creator of her world.

Here is Sophia, volunteering at the library by re-shelving scattered board books she finds around the kids area. She only re-shelves about ten or so, but I think she's understanding the point about reciprocity and mutual solidarity.

She's Walking and Talking!

So about that contest I gave myself in my last entry, to blog each day in March…umm, yeah. I blinked once and 31 days of March flew by. And then I blinked again, and 30 days of April flew by. And now we are almost done May...and I don't want to be blogging the last weekend of May, so I am squeezing in time now to write. Actually, I've been typing this very entry for the last 22 days now, adding pictures from the archives for Sophia to look back on. Major spoiler alert: Way too many pictures to count below! (More can be found following us on Instagram: pebblesandporridge)

The time is going by so incredibly quick, even more so now that Sophia is on the move and walking! Sophia started walking on March 13^th, 2015, on what would have been my dad's 62^nd birthday! How cool is that. Soph, you've always been vocally expressive, but in your 21st month, I've noticed your language vocabulary soar. You can probably say close to 100 words, and it seems like you understand everything we tell you. You love repeating exactly what we say, and you recently learned how to say "please!" Now, everything is followed by "please," which makes your wish so hard to ignore. 

With Sophia learning to walk on her own, we realized she needed something to hold onto for balancing support (and extra confidence), so instead of offering our hands to walk with her, I gave her two empty toilet paper rolls. We played a game of walking to give daddy the rolls, and I slowly took my hands away that were supporting her from underneath her arms. Within 15 minutes, she was walking by herself from one end of the house to the other!

I have a feeling she knew how to walk for a few weeks before this, and just needed that extra confidence boost and support to really strive on her own! Since she's been walking independently, I feel so much freer! I don't have to carry her around all day...she was getting heavy at 20 lbs!

Here is Sophia at the shoe store, shopping for her very first pair of walking shoes! We ended up buying a pair of "Pedi Peds" which I found to be amazing flexibility and support for her little feet. This was just 8 weeks ago, and she's already up a size!

How is the sense of passing of time for you? Are you finding time is zipping by? Days are turning into weeks quickly? Are you able to allot time each day to contemplative and mindful practice? I wonder these things, because I myself, realize I have to make sitting silent practice a priority each day, otherwise I'm running around looking like a crazy banshee. Well, I certainly hope you are enjoying each moment, each peak and valley.  

On the subject of moving, we moved into our home one year ago, on May 1^st 2014! We’ve extended our lease for another year, and are so happy to be here. We kind of entertained the idea of moving again, just to switch things up and keep us on our toes, but we decided that where we are is just perfect for now. We’ve got a lovely space, with a huge backyard, and a finished basement that we’ve made into a home office and reading nook and our exercise area. 

When we first moved in. THEN...

And NOW... a living room filled with tot's stuff

It is funny how we can take a space and make it utterly ours, even when it isn't "ours." Do you feel there is any true sense of ownership in this world? We humans can be so caught up with the sense of ownership (of land, of material objects, of our own bodies), and I wonder if really, truly we own anything at all? Take for instance, our homes, well, we may think we own our home, but we are just paying a mortgage to a financial institution, so the bank owns our home, and the bank has borrowed that money from the Bank of Canada, so the bank doesn't even "own" that money. And gosh knows how the Bank of Canada regulates the printing of money. And even if we do pay off our mortgage, and are so excited because our four walls are "ours," and all the property taxes that we pay for "our" land, now truly becomes ours, well is it really "our" land to claim? Who lived here first? And should the entire world not be our native land? This is all coming from one who isn't a History person, and one who doesn't really understand the purpose of war and the fighting/defence of land. Instead, our whole planet should be "ours" for travelling light on, going with the flow, not taking things seriously, not becoming caught up with the sense of ownership. But, I will admit that it certainly is nice that although we are merely tenants in this space, it does feel calm and lovely, and we've done the best we can to shape it as we would if it were our "own." I quite like having a peaceful and humble space that we can return to after going out, to rejuvenate and refresh us. 

Gurshawn gifted me with a treadmill on my 31^st birthday this year, who I’ve named Millie. She sits in our basement, and gives me a good workout every other day. I’m working up to 10 km in one hour, and then I’ll be the one who is giving her a workout.

Here are some pictures of our not so little toddler!

Dyson buddies

At the Waldorf program, feeding the sheep! 

Squishies

She loves going grocery shopping, especially when Daddy takes her! Her favourite store is Longos, because if you look up on the palm trees near the bananas, there are two monkeys hanging out there! She spotted them way before we did!

Very snuggly

Art fun with daddy

Snacks taste much yummier in a tiny muffin tray

Galloping through toddler-hood

Creating a mosaic in Art class

A story after playing dress up

She loves to wear her monkey...

While sweeping the floors!

(She must remember how I used to babywear and clean up)

More Art class fun (I love the use of a roller, instead of a paintbrush, to get their little hands used to different materials and tools)

Bad to the bone

Helping with our before-the-weekend chores

When Sophia found two bunnies, she was so excited! This is the lovey that she cuddles up and sleeps with. No sleep is a restful one without "Jelly." We had been hiding an extra one from her, in case the original got dirty or thrown in the mud! Here she found two and couldn't contain her excitement!

Often, it is really hard for Soph to stack blocks upwards. But, with shaving cream acting as glue, that eliminates the trickiness of the task. 

Daddy setting such a good example as he focuses on his own drawing, giving Sophia independent time to work on her craft

Walking along the balance beam is a fabulous task to master which assists with reading skills

A real live giant bunny

Love our early Saturday mornings! (6 AM!)

One of the first warm days of Spring, we spent in the park! 

Such a relief to not have to bundle up a toddler and get out the door.

A fabulous time hanging like a monkey at Gymnastics

Who loves potty time?!

Her new "bi-sick!"

Painting with balloons (Art class has really helped solidify her knowledge of colours)

Ironing can be so fun!

Problem solving in the maze at Gymnastics

You loved the airplane ride across the cable wire!

Your shoes (size 5) are getting too small for your growing feet. Time to move up to size 5.5. 

Creating a bird's nest with moss, and eggs with modelling clay.

Snuggles in the afternoon with daddy!

Got your new library card?!

You chose some new reading material to read with daddy this evening!

Why do you look so tall?!

Your FIRST horse ride! You really had so much fun...

Even though this picture doesn't suggest that. 

One day, we will buy you a pony...or maybe a my little pony.

Flashback! The same donkey from last summer! 

Don't let these pictures fool you. It isn't all smiles and giggles. (She really wanted to water the plant)

First ice cream of the season!

She's 22 months!

Well, I've overloaded this entry with pictures, and this will be all for now! I'm excited to write next month, when I discuss our REAL potty training endeavour (Goodbye, cloth diapers!), and my tingling uterus ;) 

Happy weekend to you! Enjoy the sunshine and the showers!