"The parenting journey holds the potential to be a spiritually regenerative experience for both parent and child, where every moment is a meeting of spirits, and both parent and child appreciate that each dances on a spiritual path that's unique, holding hands, and yet alone."and
"While we believe we hold the power to raise our children, the reality is that our children hold the power to raise us into the parents they need us to become." Dr. Shefali Tsabary (The Conscious Parent, 2010)I wonder how often we, as both (potentially) creators and the created, regard ourselves as engaged in a spiritual experience with our parents and our children? Every meeting is an opportunity to move beyond ego and learn from the other. I know that in the past, often interactions with my own mother and my in-laws called forth my ego (fears, anxieties, lower vibrational emotions such as anger), and it wasn't until I saw each meeting as a call and challenge to rise beyond my ego, and to become more neutral and at peace, that things started to shift for me. My mother is my teacher and guide, as every soul in my life is. And I'm sure that I challenge(d) my mom, and other family members who don't agree with my parenting choices. But, at the soul level I am sure I am encouraging my mom to let go of her utopian visions and ideals that she has for me.
I hope I always remember this when guiding Sophia through life. That our relationship is to be one without condition and expectation. With dear Sophia in mind, as much as it is fun to wear similar outfits and cut our bangs in similar fashion, she is not a mini-me (or a mini-Gurshawn, for that matter), and wouldn't you think it degrading to refer to her as that?? I couldn't even tell you how many used to say she looked like Gurshawn, and now she is changing and looking more like me! My ego would of course be content by this, but I know deep down that she looks like HERSELF! She is here creating and living out her own vibration and frequency, her own unique signature in the world, in appearance and with spirit.
On that note, I feel it is my vocation to keep encouraging the genius in her, without having the abrasive world harsh her spirit. It really isn't about the glorification of our children moving up in society, academically, professionally, socially...And, this is why I am so for homeschooling. Not because I think I know it all (because I truly know nothing), but because I am willing to be a learner alongside Sophia. I am attempting to engage Sophia in a relationship that encourages her to be who she is, without me imprinting my ideals on her, or without anyone imprinting their ideals on her or pressuring her to live up to a standard and in a box that society deems fit (whether it be in Daycare, Elementary and Secondary School, Post-Secondary, with Career, Family, Religion, Traditions, Culture, Gender Role...etc). Yup, just call me the hippie, non-conformist mom. (I'm sure you do already). And, you may bring up a couple arguments. First, that I have no life of my own because I am dedicating myself entirely to schooling Sophia. Duh. Isn't that what a vocation is? I'm believe I'm being called to motherhood and guiding Sophia. I'm sure the time will come when she doesn't need me anymore, and I'm utterly OKAY with that when that time comes. Maybe I'll take up martial arts or knitting, or create my own meditation school for youth, who knows. But right now, she needs me, and I am loving every moment with her, learning and growing together. Second the argument of socialization may come to your mind when you suggest that a home-schooled child lacks socialization skills. I'm still gathering all my points to address this one in an entry, from a place of peace and ease and not from a place of feeling attacked and judged ;)
Anyways, with all of this in mind, I have to share a funny story. A few years ago, upon my return to Canada with Gurshawn from Korea, I visited my mom at her home, God bless her heart. I saw, tucked away in some paperwork on her kitchen counter, a timeline she had created for me of my life. She marked the year I was born, when I graduated High School, when I graduated University, when I went off to Korea. And then she had it marked down the year I would get married, the year I would start a family, get a permanent job, etc. It took me aback because at that point, Gurshawn and I weren't even engaged yet! And you can imagine my surprise when she marked down the fact that we would have a family, since we were planning to be a childless married couple! I didn't bring the fact that I saw her detailed timeline up to her, because that would have evoked an entirely awkward conversation I was not ready to have. But I mention this now, as just a little example of how we have ideals and visions for our children to live up to. And, I don't hold this against my mom, because she has always wanted the best for me, and for her, creating this timeline for me reassured her that I was on the "right" path.
So these quotations above deeply resonate with me, as this is how I want Sophia to be seen: as my guide and precious teacher, molding me into the guide that she herself needs, to go out into the world not as a passive consumer, but as an active co-creator of her world.
Here is Sophia, volunteering at the library by re-shelving scattered board books she finds around the kids area. She only re-shelves about ten or so, but I think she's understanding the point about reciprocity and mutual solidarity.
