With September in full swing, and Sophia now a year old, many are asking me about my return to work. It's a million dollar question 'round here. It reminds me of when I finished my Bachelor in Philosophy and Bachelor in Education at University. Many, if not all, of my colleagues in Teacher's College were busy applying to boards to begin teaching in their own classrooms, their hearts set on securing a permanent position with a board. Those few who felt drawn elsewhere applied to teach abroad or for their Master's. I felt torn. For one, I thought that since I've spent roughly 5 years dedicated to studying Philosophy and acquiring a Teaching certificate, that I might as well put that to good use. After all, all of my colleagues were. But, I really felt compelled to pursue my Master's. Not for the sake of earning a Master's (it's a flimsy piece of paper for goodness sakes), but because I wanted to research, study, and write about the domain of holistic education - an education that teaches to the head, the heart, and the hands of the child (you're probably scratching your head about now. Read on, my reader). I also wanted to travel, and specifically teach English in Japan. I was fortunate. I got hired by a school board. I got into my Master's with a full scholarship. And I was hired by a company to teach English in a small fishing village in Eastern Japan. I turned the kimono and sake life down, and instead pursued my Master's of Education while accepting employment with the school board and began supply teaching. So, I've been employed with my school board for 7 years now. Out of those 7 years, I've served as a supply teacher for 6 1/2 years. Well no, I lied. One of those years was spent "teaching English" but is also known as galavanting around South Korea with my then boyfriend (now your daddy, Sophia!) enjoying the kimchi (hardly!) and developing the most truest of friendships (Hi Kelly!) and growing in every dimension. Anyways, the other 1/2 a school year was spent teaching high school English, and high school Philosophy. If you're still reading at this point, good for you, for keeping up with what was basically the last 12 years of my life.
So, that time in my life, when I was at the crossroads, not knowing whether I should follow that path to owning my own classroom, OR pursue research in Holistic Education, is very similar to now. I've got questions coming at me like I should be going back to work, or at the very least, should want to return back to the working world. And I just smile and nod, or give some generic bullshit answer, all the while knowing that my heart lies in conscious parenting/homeschooling.
I don't want to return to mainstream education. As much as I loved teaching Philosophy, I was often called the most strange, hippie teacher known to these high school kids. It was nice being called that actually, because my uniqueness was somewhat celebrated. But what the eff is a strange, hippie teacher going to do in a career with a mainstream school board? Teach above and beyond the fixed curriculum?! Revolutionize the school? Speak out against the education system? Little ol' me? Ha! Here's to wishing my Master's thesis could be used for revolutionary purposes someday.
Anyways, what's lovely about the Philosophy curriculum is there is much room for debate and thus questioning the structures that we play into and live under in our post-modern society. I made some wonderful relationships in that class. Some students are near and dear to me, and have become my friends who I have learned the art of presence and going-with-the-flow from. Some students still write to me today either reflecting on how I've changed their perspective, or looking for guidance or assistance, and this is extremely humbling to me considering I was only their teacher for 3 short months. As nice as teaching Philosophy was, I could not and would not bring myself to sacrifice time with my daughter for more of these lovely relationships that could potentially be formed.
To even supply teach at this point would be doing a disservice to who I feel I truly am. And who is that? Well, I'm a parent first and foremost. But, I'm also an educator. A holistic educator. You know, one who teachers to the head, heart, and hands?! (Still confused, huh? More on this holistic education business, in another blog) I feel imprisoned in a classroom. I feel I have to censor myself. I feel I have to teach to the test. I feel I have to test. I feel I have to mark these tests with a red pen. I feel so limited by the four walls of the classroom. I feel I can't just pick up the kids and take them outside to stare at the clouds. To sit in contemplation. To discuss contemplation. To discover who they are.
What is most worthy to note is that I have nothing but respect for my teacher friends who are working in the classrooms that belong to the mainstream education system. I have so much respect for my teacher friends who are mothers themselves, and would rather be home with their little ones, but have to work. You women are so strong and inspiring. Or, even those mothers who need a break from their little ones and are working for themselves and their development, I salute you. With the politics that exist now in the school boards, how time has become not only something to control, but also a dictator of the linear sequencing that shapes schooling, and the stress of entirely covering a fixed curriculum, it is hard to be an educator. I salute you for being the influential backbone of our youth, and I wish you a creative and successful school year, in whichever way you may define creativity and success.
With that said, my pursuit is the conscious parenting/homeschooling life.
Sophia, truth be told, I never imagined I'd be a mom. Let alone a mom to such a vibrant, dynamic, curious, peaceful, and aware little lady. I always thought it would be just me, reading and writing about education. With you now here, I feel I'm doing a hands-on-PhD, learning from you and putting whatever I know into practise through conscious parenting. Thank you for bringing out my hidden talents. We are a great team.
I'm a holistic homeschooling parent in the works. For reals. You should see her "learning studio."
Just me and Soph learning cool things. Unless another little explorer wants to join us. We'll be in a dark cave with the sign "Do Not Disturb Us. We're Weird Because We're Homeschooled and Don't Know How To Socialize." This blog was titled "The Dark, Non-Socializing Cave Called Homeschooling" and I haven't yet spoken about anything in relation to how my little school will be oh so gloomy and not involve any socialization of any kind. Just me. And Soph. Sitting in the dark learning our ABC's. Ha. I'll have to write about that in another blog SOON. But, for now, I'll let you visualize on how my homeschooling hippie endeavours might be anything and everything but that, while I go make myself some lemon ginger tea in my Vitamix and prepare for my nightly transcendental meditation before bed. Oh, the hippie life is good.
Check out this hippie mom with her babe.
