Now, before you call me selfish, inconsiderate, and egotistical, assuming that I'm using my daughter's birthday as an excuse to benefit me, I'll have you know that the whole point of celebrating our little one's birthday is to celebrate the past year, and all the learning that was experienced and the milestones achieved. The whole point of celebrating in my opinion is to do something special and memorable that the three musketeers (mommy, daddy, baby) will enjoy. Not something just for the sake of pleasing others. Sophia will have the whole week to spend with both mommy and daddy, happy and relaxed, which is rare since daddy has been working so diligently at his new job, often times travelling all over the USA.
Now you tell me what's better: precious family bonding time at the beach where the crashing of the ocean waves make everything seem timeless; or, a few hours with cake smeared on my daughter's face, a healthy guest list the size of the line up at the Zoo on a Saturday morning, and a scratchy dress? (Hmmm....kinda reminds me of my dream beach wedding that never happened because I wasn't selfish enough). Beach, the three musketeers, and timelessness! Case in point. I've got a lovely family lawyer friend who loves advocating for the babies, so she helped me with this realization when my heart started to sink when I was being called selfish on a few occasions. Happy mommy, happy daddy, happy baby, she has said. If going to the beach to celebrate our daughter's first birthday makes us selfish, then I guess we're selfish parents raising a selfish baby. Oh no. We're doomed. End. Rant.
In other news, Daddy's away on his second business trip to Montana. It's day three, and it feels like it's been a week. This travelling thing really affects us all. I haven't been sleeping well, as the bed is suddenly too big, it's no wonder my baby isn't sleeping well either. Now, let's talk about sleep. We all need sleep to function, don't we? Talk to any new mom, and she's probably tired or insanely high and running on coffee, or placenta pills. Which I was. Until I ate them alllll. Sleep is so important. And Sophia has not been getting much sleep and resisting being put down to bed, as she is experiencing her 12 month growth spurt ("Give me the boob! I need the boob! Where is the milk machine you call my mother?!"); the 52 week WONDER WEEK ("I can throw spontaneous temper tantrums, just at the perfect moment when you're so tired to even deal anymore because you've been squatting with me ALL DAY!"); and the glorious teething ("Where is that whisky? I'm more uncomfortable than Ben Affleck's prized jewels in the Batman costume!")
If baby sleeps, I sleep, and we're both super happy individuals! If baby doesn't sleep, I don't sleep, then I am cranky (like now, yes! You're getting the gist!). Then she's cranky, then she wants more access to the jugs, which makes me dehydrated and fatigued, then her health is affected, as is her ability to learn and future sleep. It's a vicious cycle, I tell you. She loves her routine, and to sleep in her crib, so sorry, not sorry, I won't change my daughter's routine and needs just to please your schedule and your desires. Much gratitude to the family and friends who have been utmost respectful of sleep schedules.
So, Sophia's sleep comes first. Above anything else. Afterall, I'm the one who has to deal with the aftermath of a change in routine and sleep. The Queen could come to my doorstep, and if it was between putting my daughter to down to sleep for her nap and saluting the royals, you best know I be on that rocker gliding away. I never cared so much for the Queen, even though I'm a full Brit myself. (To be said in an English accent, the one that I tried so hard to lose when I came to Canada in Grade 1, because I got made fun of on the regular).
Clearly I'm a little tense these days. Where is my husband. I need him back in our bed.
Oh my gosh. This was a blog about me. All about me. And not dear Sophia Penelope. I guess that makes me one selfish mother.
Let me post a picture of my cute girl about to turn ONE YEARS OLD (on Friday July 18th!) to sweeten that bitter taste that you have in your mouth for me, and lighten this blog entry.
