We did it! We are those parents. Those ones who let our baby cry it out. I feel like we deserve a gold medal.
If you feel up for reading, you can learn more about the cry it out method here.
Hubs and I decided to commit to the full extinction method. I know, it sounds so cruel, and believe me it is.
We began sleep training last Friday. We start Sophia's bedtime routine (bath, coconut oil massage, change into jammies, daddy-daughter dance, milky time, story time), and then we say goodnight and put the little strawberry down in her crib, leave the room. No more using mommy's nipples as a pacifier to fall asleep. You see, usually I'm on the rocker from 7:30-10:00 p.m. rocking and nursing Sophia to sleep. I realized that she doesn't even drink that much milk during that time, I'm just her human pacifier.
I came to acknowledge that there is a lot more things I could be doing in that time. Going for a run, eating dinner, taking a bath, chatting with hubs, meditating, or indulging in a form of escapism...all while my little strawberry takes her much needed rest. I think this was my main reason for sleep training, to have those evenings relaxing with hubs. Oh, and the fact that she was waking up close to five times a night for a snuggle and a quick feed.
It took much self-convincing and coming to terms with the fact that I could not, as much as she cried, go into the room after I put her down. It's been about a week; and, as no previous blog entries this week solely dedicated to me either criticizing myself or venting my frustration would suggest, it's going well. I think I'm used to her cries now, because in the last couple of months she has been wailing in her car seat during our journeys to and from activities and programs.
In hindsight, I realize that, when we tried to sleep train Sophia when she had just turned three months old, this was way too early. She needed us at that point, and I am glad that our intuition told us not to continue the endeavour. This time around, now that she is six months, the sleep training endeavour is running smoothly.
No one really likes, or wants to, hear a baby cry. And when it's your own babe, all hell breaks loose inside. But when you can't do anything about it, and you just have to leave the room and allow babe to fend for his/herself, you're bound to face your fears. It was an interested experiment though, to put Sophia down in the evenings and walk out of the room, and see what inner demons came out. Fear of not being a good mother. Feeling judged by the neighbours who I'm sure could hear her screams. Feelings of abandoning her, which surfaced my childhood memories of being abandoned. It was a time of much clearing and letting go.
So post sleep training, a week into it, Sophia is sleeping about 10 hours straight each night, and taking regular and consistent naps! The only problem that we still have is her crying when she's put down, but we are hoping that improves. So yeah, now I have time to unwind with G. I have time to straighten my hair! I have time to exfoliate my skin. I have time to watch The Bachelor! Most wonderfully, I have time to wash more than just my pits and privates. I can actually shave my legs now. Hooray!
